Post by yoshi on Feb 20, 2011 12:16:26 GMT -5
Denial
Yoshi seemed confused. Her father suddenly arrived home after she had not seen or heard from him for days. Not since that night at the palace when the Empress took him aside to talk in private. It was the first time she had excluded her Tenji from any conversation. Afterwards her father had left the palace in a rush without so much as an explanation and he looked worried. This troubled Yoshi and she took great pains to compose herself before returning to the Empress. She knew not to press the matter. It was between them and she must put it aside.
The next few days had been filled with work. New household staff to get situated; fortunately Kimi, eldest of the servants, was able to explain the new staff’s duties and responsibilities while Yoshi attended to Himeko’s studies. She oversaw the planting and decoration of the new rooftop gardens and the purchase of several horses for the clan. Her days were full and her mind settled.
But now Ikrua stood before her with a look in his eyes she had never seen before. A haunted look as though he had been pursued by evil sprits the entire time he had been gone. She studied him with dismay. When she saw his armor was stained with blood her concern grew.
“Father, you are hurt.” She said touching his armor. “What happened? Why is there blood on your armor?”
Ikrua, her father, the rock of her life stood and stared at her as though afraid to speak.
“Father you are frightening me. Speak. Tell me what is wrong?” Her voice cracked.
Ikrua pushed a bundle towards her. The bundle was wrapped in silk. The silk was white. Yoshi froze. Her eyes spoke fear as she glanced from the bundle to her father and back. Her heart trembled. Her breath caught in her chest. She heard herself ask, in a voice as weak as a child’s.
“Father, what is this you carry?”
Then Ikrua knelt and Yoshi’s blood ran cold. There was a ringing in her ears as her father pushed the bundle towards her. When he next spoke her mind ceased to function.
“Your….your…” Ikrua struggled to get the words past his lips. “Your mother… is dead.”
Yoshi blinked slowly. She was unsure if she had heard his words correctly. She glanced around the room expecting to wake up any second. She had had dreams similar to this on occasion but they had always ended with the sun streaming through her sleeping room window. She blinked again and tilted her head to one side. She was curious as to why Ikrua was kneeling before her holding out a bundle wrapped in white silk saying something about her mother. She blinked again.
“Father, please get up.” She said almost laughing. “What you are saying is ridiculous and simply cannot be true. Mother is in Trinsic. Safe and under the protection of that cities governor. This is foolishness. Please father…you must stand.”
But Ikrua did not stand. Instead he bowed his head and wept. His next words sent an arrow through her heart.
“Daughter…I beg your forgiveness…for failing…for my failure to protect your mother and my beloved wife. She died with honor. I arrived too late. The fault is mine.”
Yoshi had never seen her father cry. In her entire life not one tear from this man who had lost close friends and comrades on the field of battle. Sadness? Yes. Regret? Perhaps. But tears? Never.
For the next two days Yoshi studied every map of Trinisc she could find. She was certain the ashes contained in the urn that sat where her father left it (as she refused to touch it) near the stairs were not the ashes of her beloved mother. Her mother had escaped the carnage. Her father found someone who looked like her mother. Were there not secret tunnels under the city? Surely she escaped there. Or perhaps she received a blow to the head and her memory has been lost. She could be wandering the wilds without knowing who or where she is.
Yoshi paced the family library. On more than one occasion she donned her armor and prepared to ride out in search of her lost mother. Each time, she paused at the stable doors. Thought of another possibility and returned to the house.
Servants fled before her. She refused food. She did not sleep.
On the third day. Her father found her in the rooftop garden. She was sitting under the cherry blossom tree watching the sunset. She looked up at Ikrua with the eyes of a lost child. Her father took her in his arms and told her the story of when he first met her mother.
Yoshi made him repeat the story. She smiled and wept. They talked long into the night. Her thoughts kept coming back to the possibility that her mother was still walking the earth, lost and forlorn and that she could do something to find her and bring her home again. She was convinced all that this was a mistake…
…that all this was wrong.
To be continued…
Yoshi seemed confused. Her father suddenly arrived home after she had not seen or heard from him for days. Not since that night at the palace when the Empress took him aside to talk in private. It was the first time she had excluded her Tenji from any conversation. Afterwards her father had left the palace in a rush without so much as an explanation and he looked worried. This troubled Yoshi and she took great pains to compose herself before returning to the Empress. She knew not to press the matter. It was between them and she must put it aside.
The next few days had been filled with work. New household staff to get situated; fortunately Kimi, eldest of the servants, was able to explain the new staff’s duties and responsibilities while Yoshi attended to Himeko’s studies. She oversaw the planting and decoration of the new rooftop gardens and the purchase of several horses for the clan. Her days were full and her mind settled.
But now Ikrua stood before her with a look in his eyes she had never seen before. A haunted look as though he had been pursued by evil sprits the entire time he had been gone. She studied him with dismay. When she saw his armor was stained with blood her concern grew.
“Father, you are hurt.” She said touching his armor. “What happened? Why is there blood on your armor?”
Ikrua, her father, the rock of her life stood and stared at her as though afraid to speak.
“Father you are frightening me. Speak. Tell me what is wrong?” Her voice cracked.
Ikrua pushed a bundle towards her. The bundle was wrapped in silk. The silk was white. Yoshi froze. Her eyes spoke fear as she glanced from the bundle to her father and back. Her heart trembled. Her breath caught in her chest. She heard herself ask, in a voice as weak as a child’s.
“Father, what is this you carry?”
Then Ikrua knelt and Yoshi’s blood ran cold. There was a ringing in her ears as her father pushed the bundle towards her. When he next spoke her mind ceased to function.
“Your….your…” Ikrua struggled to get the words past his lips. “Your mother… is dead.”
Yoshi blinked slowly. She was unsure if she had heard his words correctly. She glanced around the room expecting to wake up any second. She had had dreams similar to this on occasion but they had always ended with the sun streaming through her sleeping room window. She blinked again and tilted her head to one side. She was curious as to why Ikrua was kneeling before her holding out a bundle wrapped in white silk saying something about her mother. She blinked again.
“Father, please get up.” She said almost laughing. “What you are saying is ridiculous and simply cannot be true. Mother is in Trinsic. Safe and under the protection of that cities governor. This is foolishness. Please father…you must stand.”
But Ikrua did not stand. Instead he bowed his head and wept. His next words sent an arrow through her heart.
“Daughter…I beg your forgiveness…for failing…for my failure to protect your mother and my beloved wife. She died with honor. I arrived too late. The fault is mine.”
Yoshi had never seen her father cry. In her entire life not one tear from this man who had lost close friends and comrades on the field of battle. Sadness? Yes. Regret? Perhaps. But tears? Never.
For the next two days Yoshi studied every map of Trinisc she could find. She was certain the ashes contained in the urn that sat where her father left it (as she refused to touch it) near the stairs were not the ashes of her beloved mother. Her mother had escaped the carnage. Her father found someone who looked like her mother. Were there not secret tunnels under the city? Surely she escaped there. Or perhaps she received a blow to the head and her memory has been lost. She could be wandering the wilds without knowing who or where she is.
Yoshi paced the family library. On more than one occasion she donned her armor and prepared to ride out in search of her lost mother. Each time, she paused at the stable doors. Thought of another possibility and returned to the house.
Servants fled before her. She refused food. She did not sleep.
On the third day. Her father found her in the rooftop garden. She was sitting under the cherry blossom tree watching the sunset. She looked up at Ikrua with the eyes of a lost child. Her father took her in his arms and told her the story of when he first met her mother.
Yoshi made him repeat the story. She smiled and wept. They talked long into the night. Her thoughts kept coming back to the possibility that her mother was still walking the earth, lost and forlorn and that she could do something to find her and bring her home again. She was convinced all that this was a mistake…
…that all this was wrong.
To be continued…