The Spirit Of Hope

[Rei Ukiyo]

The familiar rhythmic chopping of her knife striking the cutting board brought a semblance of peace to Rei's heart, but it was not enough to quell the worry and fear she felt deep inside. She had been keeping herself busy to keep her mind off of the turmoil she felt within. Night after night she continued to prepare delicious Tokunese dishes for the various patrons of the tea house, both familiar friends and strangers alike. But the one face she most hoped to see in all of the world remained elusive and distant to her.

Would her beloved Bishimi-sama ever be allowed to come back home to her?

The knife slipped, eliciting a short cry of pain from her as a small nick on her thumb began to redden. She brought the digit to her mouth to halt the sting and turned toward the chest at her side to rummage for a bandage. Finding a length of the gauzy material, she wound it about her newest wound and began to clean up the dinner preparations. She would return to it later, after she had taken the time to meditate and recenter herself.

With a heavy heart, she wondered how could she continue to cook in this condition. Her mind was constantly elsewhere with her concern for Bishimi-sama. She wondered if those who had been coming to eat at the tea house could taste the difference in her cooking. Did her mood effect the flavor and quality of the dishes she served? Could these people actually taste her despair?

Stepping beyond the doorway and into the bright and otherwise cheerful daylight of Zento, she turned to her right and headed home. Her footsteps on the ground were as heavy as her mind, she was in no particular hurry to get there. What had once been a place of hope and promise now only caused her to feel that much more alone. With him, it had been their home, and now it was just an empty house waiting hopefully to be filled once again with the sounds and memories of their confirmed love for each other.

She stood at last, staring up at the humble dwelling. She could hear his words of just weeks past, still fresh in her mind.

******

"I hope I did not insult you," he had asked.

"Insult me? How could you do that? You have only honored me tonight."

"I did not even consult you on the possibility of marriage."

"You knew it was already in my mind."

"I hoped it was."

"Do you really wish to marry me?"

"More so then I can tell you," he said, taking her hand in his, "I will do it as the mainlanders do if it suits you." He dropped down to kneel on one knee. She tried to protest that he did not have to do this, but he continued.

"Ukiyo Rei, will you accept me as your husband?"

Her heart had swelled with her love for him, "Hai, and be the happiest wife ever."

He stood, taking her in his arms and holding her close.

"I love you, Rei-Chan. I will never let any harm come to you." She hugged him tightly in return.

"I love you, Bishimi, I know..."

"Shinta... I would like you to call me by name when we are together."

"You are sure? Very well, Shinta, I love you."

"As I do you, Rei."

"The safest place for me is at your side. Please, do not send me away," she pleaded, hoping that he would not seek to protect her the same way he had done with Ni-chan. He nodded in agreement.

"I will never put you far from me."

******

Everything had changed so much once the Empress had discovered the truth of his identity. He had been temporarily locked up and stripped of his title, all for the sins of his father. Rei had been beside herself with worry for his life the entire night of that event, and had nearly fainted with relief when the Empress had allowed him to return to his duties and bring Ni-chan back home. She had ordered that he was to reside at the tea house and go nowhere without the escort of an elder. It was because of this order that Bishimi-sama had not been able to return home. She slipped through the double doors of the small house with a sigh. How much longer would it be before he would finally be allowed to come back to her?

As she headed to the rooftop to meditate, his words played over and over again in her mind, like a soothing mantra to keep her spirit fueled.

"We are each others, please always remember that."

[Bishimi]

The Empress nodded slowly after hearing the Soke’s story but did not respond for what felt to him like an eternity. After what proved to be only minutes she asked “Why was I not informed of this earlier?” Bishimi hesitated a moment “I did not wish you to think my responsibilities would be compromised Empress, none of the clan are aware of my doings when I leave the tea house but as always my duty to the clan, to you, comes first.” He felt the Empresses eyes staring at the top of his head as he stayed in a bowed position. “I see,” she began again “and what is it you wish?” “Only an opportunity to set things right before this eve but to do so I would like some time…alone.” He responded apprehensively.

Miko placed a hand on his shoulder; the Soke looked up surprised to see her with a smile on her face. “That is not what I meant Bishimi.” “But it was an honest answer none the less Empress.” Again the empress stared at him but this time into his eyes almost as if she was looking for the truth within them. “Very well Soke, do what you must. We do not have much time.” Bishimi bowed his head and moved towards the door. “Soke” Miko stopped him “are you happy with my decision?” Bishimi pulled his hood over his face in hopes of hiding a smile he could not hold back. “Surprisingly Empress, I am.” The Soke left the empresses home and immediately took to the shadows following them to the blue magic gate to get back to Zento.

In no time at all Bishimi found his way to the house he was sure he would find Ukiyo in. He quietly let himself in and searched the house but did not find Rei. The Soke found a scroll and quill and quickly penned a note for her to see when she returned. It simply read:

Rei
It was wrong of me to assume that I could ever put myself before the needs of the clan. Again I find myself at a point where I must put aside my personal choices in favor of what benefits my men. I have been tasked with a great honor by the Empress, one I do not take lightly but one that makes anything we have spoken of before a memory we must both forget. I hope to speak to you soon as to better inform you of what I mean as a letter is not the proper way to do so.

Bishimi

He left the note in a place he knew she would see it and made his way back to the tea house. As much as he wanted to be upset or disappointed he could not bring himself to be. His mind would constantly wander back to private conversations he’s had in recent days and he could do nothing but smile. Bishimi took a seat in the tea house and poured a cup of sake and mumbled as if he were still speaking with the Empress. “Surprisingly, I am very happy with your decision.”

[Rei Ukiyo]

"We need to speak."

His sudden words tore Rei's attention from her meditation by the koi pond. She lifted her gaze to him, hopeful and excited to finally see him, once again.

"Bishimi-sama!" She rose to her feet quickly, eager to hear what he would say.

His manner was somewhat distant and withdrawn, and it stirred a churning feeling in the bottom of her stomach.

"Can we go somewhere more private?" he asked.

"We can go to our house," she answered with a gentle smile, reaching for his hand. He only nodded and kept his hand out of reach as he started walking.

The walk to their home filled Rei with apprehension and worry. She wondered and feared whatever it was he would need to speak with her about. The note she had found earlier had mentioned a task that had been placed upon him by the Empress and now she found herself dreading whatever that task might reveal itself to be.

"Is something wrong?" she asked as they entered the house.

"Yes..." came his only response as the doors were closed for privacy. She gazed up into his eyes, and where there had before been worlds of love and tenderness, now she read only a forced aloofness.

"Are you in danger? Has the Empress released you? I have been so worried and it is so.. good to finally see you" she sighed, she had so many questions. She leaned in close to him, longing to fill the void that had grown in his absence.

"No trouble anymore. But...things have changed..."

"Changed?" She reached up to remove his mask, but unlike past times, he pulled away from her with a nod, keeping himself out of her reach. The sick feeling in the bottom of her stomach was growing, as if she had a feeling about what he was there to speak with her about.

"Shinta.. what is wrong?" She stood stoically and waited patiently for him to continue.

"I am sorry, I dont know how best to say this. I will be blunt."

"Say what?" she asked, but she was realizing that she did not want to hear whatever dreaded words he would say.

"Due to all that has happened recently the empress has seen fit to... honor my loyalty as she says it. I see it as a test."

"What kind of test? Why do you pull away from me?" she asked, for no matter how awful the words he would say might be, she needed to hear them and know for certain what exactly was going to happen.

"It seems Lord Myrddin and her have been speaking and decided to seal the alliance with a marriage," he stated. She was stunned, she had expected perhaps a test of strength or bravery, to test someone by forcing them to marry another was the furthest thing from her imagination.

"Shinta... are you saying what I think you are?" she asked softly.

He looked at the ground as he spoke softly.

"I have been chosen to represent our lands in this arrangement." Her face fell, and though she was saddened, she tried to maintain a show of calm, to be strong for him.

"And you.. will not say no, will you?" she asked even though she knew what his answer would be. Bishimi would do anything the Empress had asked of him, without question, his honor and dedication to her ran very deeply.

"I cannot," he said, shaking his head. She looked into his eyes as a tear escaped to roll down her cheek, despite her silent command to herself that she not cry in front of him.

"Shinta.. do you still love me?"

"I... do what I must." he said.

"Please.. I need to know," she asked, though his struggle to remain distant told her all that she needed.

"I should have known better then to do what I wanted," he said.

"I understand.. why you will not say no to the Empress. I just.. need to know if you still love me," and then she knew that he would never answer yes or no, for his duty he placed before all his own wants and needs. His next words confirmed what she knew.

"I cannot. My life is for the clan," he spoke with what seemed to be a forced tone and she decided not to prod further.

"When.. when will you be marrying this one that you do not love?"

"It is to be announced tonight."

"Do we have a few minutes.. to be ourselves?"

"I have little. We must speak quickly," he said.

"Is there time.. for one last kiss?" He shook his head.

"I cannot."

Her emotions were beginning to betray her, this was the sting of love. For while she was hopeful and sad, behind it there was anger, as well. Anger that she had allowed herself to fall so deeply in love with this man, anger even that he was a good man. If he had been anything less this would have been so much the easier for both of them. She fought back her emotions, trying to remain strong for him.

"It was not my intent. This was not planned," he said, "As I said, I should have known better. I am at fault, I apologize."

"Shinta.. I love you. I know that a part of me will always love you. I want to.. but I cannot be angry with you. I know you to be a good man. I understand why you are doing this. I ask only that you return to me my father's kimono, that when I do find a man who wants me I may give it to him," the words had been difficult to say without losing control of her emotions, but she was thankful that she had been able to say them.

"Of course," he said.

"I wish.. no, I hope, that you find happiness, in spite of this. You will always be the first man I ever loved. I love you," and she felt the hot betrayal of tears upon her cheeks, once more.

"I... am sorry," he said softly.

"I.. wish I was this lucky woman from Stonegate," she spoke, though more to herself than to him.

"All planned, there is no luck," he said with finality, and then he was through the front door and gone, like cherry blossoms in the wind.

There would be no last profession of love, no hope that someday they might be reunited, no final kiss goodbye. She was to be cut from his emotional life, in order that he continue his honor-bound duty. He would not give her false hope, he would not hurt her any more than she was. Her heart was very heavy, but she accepted his decision. She would love him forever, though she was wise enough to understand that hopefully in time it would weather and wear, becoming once more the love of a friend and companion.

******

During the announcement later that evening in the Stonegate Meadhall, it took every ounce of fortitude within her to remain in her seat. Amidst the cheering and applauding when the marriage between Bishimi and Lady Merci was made known to both clans, Rei put her head down to hide her face and stay her tears. She felt Edda-chan and Leusi-chan's comforting pats on her back and wondered if Merci-san would comfort Bishimi when he needed it. She hoped that she would.

When everyone had gone to the training floor to celebrate with rounds of ale and brawling, she pleaded for a moment in private with Lady Merci. Hoping she would neither disrespect Bishimi's future wife or make a fool of herself, she confessed to Merci the personal situation and begged the woman to be good to him. She sincerely wished them both every happiness. Finally, she excused herself, relieved that the Lady Merci was a compassionate and understanding woman. Bishimi would be in good hands.

******

Looking around what had been their home, she mentally inventoried what she would take when she left. She could not continue to live in the small house, there were too many shared memories lingering. She would return to the inn until she found something better. She would focus on training her battle tactics and her cooking. She would fill her time with chores designed to distract while the pain was still raw in her heart.

But she would not regret. She would cherish what small amount of time she had enjoyed in his arms. She was grateful to have tasted what so many poets and scholars had written about.

[Miko Nakamura]

The yards of silk matriculate and folded, the obi placed around her waist, tucked and pulled the Kitsuke, a master at his craft created an ornate butterfly bow holding the entire kimono in place. Miko turned facing the full length mirror taking in the sight. Her mind it seemed as of late turned to the past, “Was it a lifetime ago?” she thought out loud, “Empress? Empress the men are assembled. They await you.” Not turning or acknowledging the herald, Miko looked at herself.

“What I have commanded is the only way to heal this wound I have carried for so very long”

Laying her hand across her abdomen remembering promises made years ago by her love Seiji, the years of happiness stolen from her. The unkept thoughts of their children, she would have gladly bore. The loss of seeing the grey of age sprinkle his hair as it began to show in her own.

“What a life we would of made”

The herald stood in the door frame watching Miko standing silently in front of the mirror, “Empress” Sijuro Hiro spoke softly, “It is time”

A low buzz of several conversations at once filled the air of the teahouse. Stepping up the steps and making her entrance, a heavy silence fell replaced with the sound of feet shuffling, as everyone rose to stand and bow in her direction. Shidoshi Wang stepped towards her offering tea. “Please be seated”, the pomp and pageantry of her position brought a simple amusement to her each time.

A familiar blue hue penetrated the entrance of the teahouse. Pales, a known member of Stonegate appeared “Passage to Stonegate is prepared”, Wang offered his hand helping Miko to her feet, “If you’re ready Empress?” A quick nod and the citizens of Tokuno followed her to Stonegate. The crisp air almost stole the breath from her lungs. Once inside the great mead hall, the growing gravity of the event that was about to take place filled her.

Standing in front of all the people of Stonegate, Lord Myrddin, bowed his head, “Welcome Empress Miko, and Soke Bishimi” Letting a smile play across her face “…His loyalty was never without question…” Looking at him trying to read his body language, “Soke are you prepared?” He turned, his eyes barely visible beneath his hood seemed to have a glint to them, “Of course Empress”

Lord Myrddin began to speak, given the importance to those assembled; a general look of confusion could be seen by Stonegate and Tokunese alike. Turning to Miko, Myrddin offered her the floor. Taking a moment Miko began to speak:
“Our alliance has been forged, and now will be solidified to last long after many of us”

Turning towards Bishimi summoning him forward to stand beside her, Miko held her arms out wide, revealing the painted sleeves, glancing over “Lord Myrddin who of their own free will, has been chosen?” Myrddin’s gaze landed at the back of the hall, “Merci Anastasia d'Rue will you join us.” Stepping forward through the crowded hall Merci came and stood next to Myrddin.

“Merci d’Rue, of Stonegate is our candidate, joining us on this great venture.” With the slightest touch to his forearm, “The Soke Bishimi is our candidate, and will join in marriage to bring our great lands a wholeness never before seen”

The room stopped, audible gasps and a sobbing could be heard. Miko noticed Shidoshi Edda patting Rei on the head. Miko found that so odd but dismissed it as happiness for the Soke’s continued diligence to herself, the Clan and Tokuno, “Such pride for her country and leader”, Miko thought.

All was falling into place. The last piece of this puzzle would soon be in place, “Soon old wrongs will be made right” Myrddin’s celebratory words broke her from inner thoughts, and back to the happy occasion.

“Soon Seiji all we discussed will happen at my hand; all our dreams of dynasty will come to pass.”